Living for oneself

On my 70th birthday, I woke up earlier than usual. The house was quiet. I made myself a cup of tea and sat by the window feeling a calm I had not noticed in years. At this stage of life, such moments start to matter.

In the halcyon days of youth, life felt as if it was something to be chased. There was always the next step — studies, work, family and responsibilities. You kept moving because everyone around you was doing so. There was little time to figure out whether this meant going in the direction you wanted to go. With time, the truth became clear: life is not meant to be rushed!

Life teaches you that not everything deserves your attention. Earlier, every opinion mattered, every expectation felt urgent. Now, you learn to step back. You listen, without clinging to everything.

The second realisation comes from relationships. For years, I believed that love and respect were enough, but life teaches you otherwise. Relationships need patience and space, the willingness to overlook small faults. You realise that people change. So do you. Every relationship will not remain the same, distances matter, silences grow without reason. And slowly, you learn to accept this. Letting go does not mean you care less, just that you understand more.

Then comes a personal reflection. For most of my life, I was busy being what others needed me to be, a parent, a partner, a provider, a friend. These roles are important, but somewhere along the way, you tend to lose touch with yourself. Now I can be myself and this is possible in various ways: a walk taken alone, a hobby picked up again or time spent without purpose. In these small moments, you start becoming yourself again, not in a role, but as a person.

Health starts to matter. Earlier, the body’s signals could be ignored. A missed meal, a restless night, long days without pause were manageable. Now, the body demands attention, not loudly, but steadily. You begin to understand that health is not about big changes. It is about small, consistent steps. A routine. A walk. Enough rest. Nothing dramatic, but very important.

Another realisation is the changed definition of success. Success often means more recognition, more achievement, more security. But over the years, you find “more” may not bring peace. You see people who have everything, yet remain dissatisfied, and others, with very little, merrily enjoying their lives. Your perception changes, success is contentment, like sitting quietly without feeling restless, not needing constant validation. As Albert Einstein once said, “A calm and modest life brings more happiness than the pursuit of success combined with constant restlessness.”

Gradually, you start to value simple things, a familiar voice, an unhurried meal, a day without demands, moments that do not stand out, yet stay with you. You start accepting that life does not always go as desired. There are disappointments. Things left unfinished. Words left unsaid. Earlier, these would bring regrets, now they seem part of a journey.

One piece of advice to the younger generation. Do not hurry through life trying to reach somewhere. Take time to understand where you are. What matters is not to lose your way. Do not feel left behind. Life is not a single path, everyone finds their own way at their own time.

One lesson for my age group. You can now reflect on how situations change. What felt important once, no longer matters. Only you remain with yourself from the first to the last. So be kind to yourself. Do not hold on to every regret. Respect your journey. Because when life slows down, the noise fades, the pace slows, but what remains is you. And if you are able to sit with yourself without complaint, you have not merely lived, you have lived well!

priyannaik@yahoo.com