Finding joy in one’s own company

Do you remember when you really wanted to go somewhere but could not because none of your friends agreed to go with you? Or when you wanted to watch a movie but none of your friends was interested in it, so you didn’t watch it either? Or that time when your eyes were filled with tears for one or two months because the person you considered your everything left you? Or those moments when you were deeply troubled about something and called your friends for emotional comfort, but they were busy, which made you feel even more upset?

In all these situations, one thing is common: your sadness. And if you look closely, the reason for your sadness is also the same: giving more importance to others than your own happiness. You are sacrificing your happiness for others. You like a movie and really want to go out and watch it, but you don’t go because none of your friends is going with you. Your happiness becomes dependent on others because you are not able to be happy on your own. You are unable to find happiness within yourself, which makes others a necessity for you, and you don’t even realise it.

There is nothing wrong with seeking the company of friends. Humans are called social animals, and interaction is necessary. Having friends is important, but the problem arises when you become heavily dependent on them for your happiness. It is like handing over the key to your happiness to someone else, which is quite problematic. Make friends, but keep the key to your happiness with yourself. This will happen when you are happy in your own company, when you realise that your friends are a bonus, not a necessity.

It is also true that being happy on your own is not easy. It’s not that we cannot be happy alone — we can — but society has filled our minds with the idea that a person cannot be happy alone. Since childhood, we have been conditioned to believe that movies are watched with someone, cafés are visited with someone, and these beliefs have gone so deep into our minds that we do not even accept that one can be happy alone. Just think about it — when you see someone eating alone in a college canteen, our mind assumes that this person is lonely, must not have friends, and must be sad. You consider that person lonely and depressed just because they are eating alone. This assumption shows that society has accepted that a person cannot be happy if they are alone. But the truth is that a person can be happy alone, and when someone learns to be happy alone, the company of others becomes a bonus, not a necessity.

It is also true that learning to be happy alone is not easy. Changing something that has been deeply ingrained in our minds since childhood is not simple. If you want to change this belief and truly learn to be happy on your own, it is important to follow a step-by-step approach. Instead of trying to jump directly to the destination, it is better to take one step at a time. Every morning, stand in front of the mirror for just two minutes and say, “I am happy on my own. I am happiest with myself.” Simply speaking, these words will create an impression in your mind that you can be happy alone, that you can be comfortable with yourself, because it is important to accept that happiness in solitude is possible.

When words are combined with actions, the journey becomes easier. If you feel scared to go to a movie alone, then go and watch one by yourself. At first, it will feel strange, and you may feel uncomfortable, but still go. Keep your focus on yourself. In that moment, live not for anyone else but only for yourself. Spend those three to four hours just for you. Thoughts about your friends will come, and at that moment, repeat to yourself, “I am happy with myself.” Do this two or three times — go to a movie alone, visit a café alone. Celebrate yourself, like yourself, appreciate yourself, so that you can love yourself, and your happiness does not depend on anyone else.

Remember, making friends is not a bad thing, but depending on them for your happiness is wrong, because in doing so, you lose yourself. You are unable to build your own identity, you lose your individuality, and you start becoming sad. If there is any way to avoid this sadness, it is this: love yourself, be happy in your own company, and celebrate yourself.

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